In the cage of darkness, I find comfort within your arms
by KatanaSabaku
Summary: "I should be ashamed of myself." Roy shook his head ruefully, making his bangs plaster against his forehead. "No. Don't be." The woman's voice was faint and uncharacteristically soft as she moved inside his arms. This time, she was the one who pressed her face on his chest, taking in a deep breath. "You're not the only one crying, after all…"


**In the Cage of Darkness, I find comfort within your arms**; _Royai_

**Author's Note:** Ohayo, minna-san! *u* I am a Fullmetal Alchemist fan and a loyal Royai shipper. This fanfic is dedicated to my friend Missy. Hi, MiC! :D

**Enjoy and Review~! **

* * *

"_Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." –Albert Camus_

* * *

He was back again in that wretched place. The place with closed walls, dim surroundings, and an atmosphere crackling with so much tension that it suffocated him. His aching arms were forcefully stretched out and bound, the icy metal of deadly blades pressed up against his jugular. But the swords and the possibility of his arms breaking didn't frighten him.

The panic that clung to his system was caused by an entirely different reason and this certain fear did not tell him to stop moving. It did not tell him to relax nor to stop fighting against his captors' holds. Instead, Roy's instincts were screaming for him to break away and run towards the body that lay crumpled and limp against the cold floor.

_Lieutenant…!_

And so, Roy thrashed about, struggling and kicking and yelling profanities, yelling out incoherent pleas as his eyes glued themselves to the wounded woman who was barely meters away from him."Lieutenant!" He shouted angrily, worriedly, and writhed against the iron grips on his arms.

"Lieutenant, answer me! Say something!" He demanded, desperation clear in his voice. "Lieutenant! Riza!"

Watery brown eyes met his hysterical gaze. The blonde woman swallowed pathetically from where she was and attempted to speak in between breathless wheezing. "Col...onel…s-sir…"

"R-Riza…"

_Riza…Riza. Riza._

_Oh god, Riza. _

She was pale and gasping, her eyes fluttering erratically in an effort to remain open. One of her hands was clamping down hard on her neck but the flow of crimson liquid from out of the wound continued. Blood gushed from her slit throat and seeped into her clothes, spilling down on the cemented ground.

_Blood. Riza's blood. There's blood everywhere._

The rusty scent overwhelmed his senses and made him see red. Roy's vision was swimming and his brain pounded rebelliously inside his skull. The familiar taste of bile was rising in his dry throat.

_Blood, so much blood…There's so much blood. Why is there so much blood?!_

"Look at her, Colonel." The taunting voice of the cross-eyed doctor broke into his racing thoughts. "You're making her suffer unnecessarily. Perform the human transmutation and she might just live." Roy dared to force his eyes away from Riza's form for a quick second to glower up at the scientist.

In tandem with the worry gnawing in his heart, his hatred for the sleazy man made his insides churn. "You fucking scum." He bit out through clenched teeth and his face contorted into a look of absolute ire. In a burst of renewed energy, he thrashed about once again but failed to escape the hands that clutched onto him. "You _fucking_ bastard!"

"Time's running out, Mustang…" The doctor jibed again, ignoring his angry outburst. He gave Mustang a large grin, his gold tooth sparkling in a malicious manner. "Save her…" He urged Roy provocatively, "Do it."

"D-Don't…"

Roy's attention snapped back to the source of the stuttered command and air rushed out of his lungs the minute he laid his eyes once more on the woman's frail form. Life was fading from the piercing brown eyes that he knew so well and secretly loved so much. _Riza…R-Riza…_

"D-Don't d-do—it…C-Colonel…" Riza stuttered out weakly. Even when in the brink of death, she had managed a fiery glower at him, silently warning him not to make any rash decisions or considerations. The blonde coughed out weakly and the sudden jerk of her body caused blood the gush out of the neck wound.

"L-Lieutenant..."

_No…no, no, no…Riza, don't—_

Roy could feel his hysteria growing as he watched his subordinate struggle; it was as if some part of him knew that his worst nightmare was about to come true. "D-Don't…do it…" Riza said finally as her eyelids fluttered before falling shut and tension left her, her muscles slacking abnormally and her hand dropping down from where it pressed against her wound. From where he knelt, Roy's heart stopped dead.

_No, no, no, no, no!_

"RIZAAA!"

The gut-wrenching scream ripped itself out of his throat and the man's obsidian eyes faltered and blurred, the light that he saw slowly fading away into black.

* * *

"C-Col..onel..."

It was the broken voice that brought him back to consciousness. Immediately, Roy bolted up from where he was and yet, the same pitch black darkness was what welcomed his sight even when he was sure that his eyes were wide open. "Riza!" In a moment of forgetfulness and utter stupidity, Roy panicked, his hands blindly groping around for something, anything. "Lieutenant!" Lieutenant, it's dark everywhere! I can't see! Lieutenant—Riza, where are you?!"

"C-Colonel…I'm right…here…"

His head turned at the direction of the voice and Roy hastily threw the sheets off of his body, swerving his legs to the side and down on the cold tiles. "Lieutenant!" He tried to blink back the dark veil clouding his vision as he stood up shakily, taking quick steps, hands outstretched and eager to come in contact with something familiar. To come in contact with _her_.

"Don't…"

_What are you talking about, Riza?_ His mind flashed back to her earlier command, the one that she struggled to force out of her mouth as she bled and bled and bled on the ground. _Fuck, are you still hurt?_

"Lieutenant, where are you? Why are you talking like that?"

_Riza, I can't see. I can't find you anywhere…I have to find you._

"You have to tell me where you are, Lieutenant. Lieutenant? Lieutenant, talk to me!" _Why is it so dark…?_

"Colonel…d-don't…"

No sooner than when his ears registered the warning, his feet stumbled against something hard—a leg of a chair, perhaps—and down he went, collapsing onto the hard, icy floor with a pained grunt. It was then that the truth stung him hard and fast, like a sharp slap in the face: He was blind. They forced him to open the Gate and Truth had taken away his sight. _That's why it's so dark…_

"Co...lonel…sir…"

_Riza. She's alive. The girl from Xing had saved her…Riza's alright. _Hearing her voice once again, Roy broke out of his reverie, pushed himself off the floor using his weary arms and attempted to get back on his feet when he heard his subordinate call out.

"Stop…Don't—tch, d-don't…stand…"

Unwillingly, Roy followed her order and remained still, his breath coming out in erratic puffs. In the absence of his sight, he focused instead on the noises in his surroundings, his ears picking up the sound of a suppressed groan of pain and some creaking. Light footsteps followed soon, slowly becoming louder, each sounding closer to him than the previous one.

"Come on…"

Two hands settled down on each of his shoulders and with surprising strength, they pulled him up on his feet. "I've…got you…" Riza's hands slid down into his own and she took his hands without hesitation, her palms gentle and soothing. Worry vanished from his system and with a relieved sigh, Roy swallowed and nodded curtly, taking careful steps and allowing the Lieutenant to guide him to where her bed was.

He slid into the clean hospital sheets cautiously and felt the mattress dip slightly as Riza settled down beside him. The hospital bed was a little small, not intended for the use of two adults and as a result, the two of them ended up pressed together, their legs tangled and faces merely centimeters apart.

Riza's warm breath ghosted over his face, giving him a sense of calm, and Roy couldn't find it in himself to be bothered by their unusual proximity. "Lieutenant—no. Riza…" he exhaled sadly, closing his unseeing eyes and frowning. "Riza, I'm sorry I—"

"Roy."

The sound of his name coming from her mouth was so startling that his grey eyes snapped open and he had forgotten what he had to say. Dejected, the Flame Alchemist dropped his speech, his apology dangling in the air. Tentatively, he cleared his throat. "Yes…?"

"Stop…talking." The bed creaked and the covers rustled as Riza shifted in her place and Roy felt a weight settle down on his chest, fine hairs tickling his chin. One of her arms went around his torso and she pressed herself against his body closer, her deep, relaxed breaths coaxing his own shallow breathing to even out.

"Riza…I—"

"Go to sleep, Colonel."

Falling silent, the man closed his mouth and sighed in defeat, his arm wrapping around the lieutenant's waist. "Okay…"

* * *

"I dreamt about you earlier."

His whisper resonated loudly inside the quiet room. It was 1:54 in the morning; or so Riza had told him when they both woke up, restless and edgy from the images that haunted their slumber. The scenes of battle, destruction and other horrifying things chased them even from behind their closed lids. Roy knew that it would take quite some time before the memory could leave their minds.

Although he had brushed it off easily when Riza said that it was dark out and she couldn't see him clearly, Roy couldn't help the immense gratitude that filled him when he heard of this and he knew his subordinate knew it as well. She was trying so hard to comfort him, to lessen the hollowness that he felt as he coped with the acquired handicap by subjecting herself into a comparable situation.

_Riza…I wonder what I did to deserve you?_

"I know…" Was Riza's short reply from beside him and her voice—despite still being rough and scratchy because of the neck wound—sounded so formal and serious even when her face was half-buried into the hospital gown he that wore. "You were screaming out my name."

Roy pressed his mouth into a grim line as he recalled the nightmare. His eyebrows furrowed deeply and he sighed, shaking his head and craning his neck up to the direction of the ceiling, his eyes half-lidded and thoughtful though it remained sightless.

"I dreamt about the Promised Day…" he murmured again and reached a hand up, absentmindedly picking up a golden strand of hair and twirling it between his fingers.

"That time when we were underground, with Scar and that scumbag doctor…I saw you. You were lying there. You were bleeding and…a-and dying. And I was trapped…" His deep voice broke as he continued and Roy closed his dead eyes again, pressing his eyelids tight in order to reign in the tears that threatened to break free.

He remembered that moment clearly, remembered the pool of crimson liquid that Riza was soaked in, remembered seeing her pained expression as she fought to stay alive and remembered the fear in his heart, the agony he felt with every dying gasp that she let out. "…I couldn't do anything to save you. I'm sorry…"

Despite the control and composure that Roy prided himself on, the Colonel couldn't find the strength to fight back the moisture that pushed past his closed eyes. The crystalline drops trickled down the side of his eyes, over his temples and then falling silently onto his pillow.

With a resigned sigh, he swallowed back the lump on his throat and clamped his mouth shut, hoping that by some impossible chance, if he kept quiet, then maybe Lieutenant wouldn't notice his tears.

Hawkeye had already seen him wounded and frail, she had already seen his ugly, enraged face as he succumbedto the hatred in his heart during that encounter with Envy. She had already witnessed him trip and crumple into a disgraceful heap on the floor. The last thing he needed was for his subordinate to see him crying like a lost child.

"…I don't understand why you're apologizing to me. We made it out alive. What are you sorry about?"

Gentle fingers brushed away the tear tracks on his face and Roy shamefully brought his face down, shifting until his head was tucked on the juncture of her neck. Of course, fate was even cruel enough to deny him of his one wish.

Deciding that—since his dignity and pride were already shattered into pieces—he had nothing more to lose, Roy bit down on his lower lip and choked back a dry sob, his hands coming up and around her body to grip handfuls of her hospital gown.

"You almost died..." He said as the tears fell from his unseeing dark eyes, drawing comfort from the warmth inside the woman's embrace. "You almost died that day and I couldn't have done anything to help. I was so close to losing you…and I couldn't. I just couldn't handle that, Riza…I couldn't lose you." Gritting his teeth together to muffle the pathetic sobs trying to escape, Roy buried his face further on her shoulder, silencing his cries. "I know." Riza said again as she patted his head and stroked his back, paying no attention to the growing wet spot on her shoulder where he was crying on.

"You did everything you could've done, sir. And though it was my life that was at stake, I am grateful that you did not agree to perform human transmutation. I don't think I could've lived knowing I made you do something horrible in return…" She admitted quietly into his ear and her fingers curled around the short hairs on the back of his neck. "But that doesn't matter anymore, does it? Because it never had the chance to happen…We're alive, both you and I."

"I have no idea how you can stay optimistic on a time like this." Roy choked out with a broken laugh, pulling away suddenly and sniffling. Though his breaths came out uneven and tears still leaked out of his blind eyes, a watery smile made its way into his wrecked expression.

"God, I'm pathetic…" He said with a weary exhale. "Look at you. You're so strong and calm…and here I am, bawling like a child." Inhaling shakily through his nose, Roy shook his head ruefully, messing up his hair and making his bangs plaster against his forehead. "I should be ashamed of myself."

"No. Don't be." The woman's voice was faint and uncharacteristically soft as she moved inside his arms. This time, she was the one who pressed her face on his chest, taking in a deep breath. "You're not the only one crying, after all…" Her words were muffled by the fabric of his clothes but Roy understood perfectly and with a heartbreaking start, he noticed the presence of moisture seeping in through his hospital gown.

"I almost lost you as well. I thought for sure I was going to die, but I held on…" He heard her swallow hard and Riza's normally clear voice faltered with emotion as she continued, "Despite the pain, I held on…Because I refuse to leave you behind, Roy."

Hearing his name escape her lips for the second time around, Roy's heart skipped a beat and the man swallowed heavily before wrapping his arms around her smaller frame and pulling her even closer if possible."Don't leave me, Lieutenant." He said before he could stop himself, the frustrating tears stinging the back of his eyes once more. "I can't do this without you. Don't leave me."

"I don't think I could, sir…"

"Promise me you'll never leave. Promise me you'll stay with me…" Roy pleaded lowly, pressing his lips on the top of her head as she shook inside his hold and burrowed nearer into his warmth. Moving his head, he reached a hand up and carefully felt for her face, his palm sliding over her cheek gently once he located it in the endless darkness.

Slowly, he lowered himself down, allowing his nose to bump against hers before he tilted his head expertly and angled their faces so that his mouth brushed against her lips when he whispered, "Stay by my side, Riza."

"Always."

As they bathed in the shadows of the night, lying close together with their limbs intertwined and hearts and souls connected, their promise was sealed with a kiss.

**End**


End file.
